


Towers Edge

by AlissaShawWrites



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 21:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15349395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlissaShawWrites/pseuds/AlissaShawWrites
Summary: Loki can't get something off his mind. Something awful and painful. These thoughts have turned to others and he can't stop it. The only way out he sees is to climb the railing of Stark Tower and hope to finally meet his end. Fortunately for him; Tony comes to the rescue.





	Towers Edge

Loki stood over the city on the wrong side of Stark Towers balcony rails. From this high up, the stunning view of the many large buildings, bathed in the glow of the slowly setting sun, was hard to ignore; even when looking down even slightly promises a terrifyingly long fall to solid concrete. The God was familiar with the sensation of falling. The blissful winds that caress the body as it delicately descends towards a destination. The soft billowing of clothing and hair as the winds pick up before the impact. 

A welcoming thought; so welcoming in fact, he almost let go as the idea went through his mind. What stopped him was a sound, one recognizable and somewhat startling. He looked down to see the silhouette of the iron suit. Typical of Stark to come to the rescue. 

“Mischief what’s going on?!” he yelled as soon as he was in range. 

For a moment Loki did not speak or look at the man. He only allowed his gaze to trace the now black outlines of the city; watching as windows illuminated painting pictures of people living their lives. Normal mortals living their ordinary lives with their boring routines. Yet still, they remained happy. How different would it have been if he had succeeded in his mission only a few years prior?

"Mischief please," Tony's worried voice forced his eyes over to the suit. "Loki, come on. What's going on? You're going to get hurt." He was close enough to catch him if he fell but with enough distance to give Loki space. It was easy to overcrowd Loki and even after only a few short months together, Tony knew how dangerous it was to not only himself but Loki as well when he feels overwhelmed. "Let's get on the safe side of the rails and have a chat, alright?"

Loki ignored him once more; this time avoiding the plea. “I take it your good friend JARVIS told you I was up here? Funny, I would have thought it would like to get rid of me.”

“JARVIS loves you. You make things interesting.” Tony slowly and cautiously moved towards the God, who jostled him away with an outstretched hand. “Ok, ok, I’ll back off! Four points of contact when on a ledge or ladder please!”

Loki obliged, putting the hand back on the railing; gripping it so tightly his knuckles flashed pure white. "Do not touch me, Anthony."

He nodded, “got it, got it. Do you want to talk about this?” Loki shook his head. “I’m not going to leave but if you don’t want to talk that’s fine. I’ll do the talking.” He took a seat on the railing a little more than a foot away from him. 

His mask peeled back to show his face filling Loki instantly with grief. Tony was clearly incredibly worried and exhausted. The bags under his eyes were deeper, darker, more prominent. “You were sleeping in the lab again. I woke you didn’t I?”

“I’d rather be up here with you.” 

"Why? You can't seriously wish to be on the edge of your balcony with the ground in sight."

“I’ve done it before. I'm sure out of similar reasons,” he tailed off. “Of course I always had someone else with me on the other side. Someone to talk to.” 

Loki sniffled back a tear, “what are you suggesting we talk about?” 

Tony shrugged, “whatever you want. I know you’ve been enjoying Midgardian television. Or what you want for dinner tonight-”

“I won’t need dinner tonight.” 

Tony sighed, “I was afraid you’d say that. How about we actually talk about why you’re up here.” 

“I already said-”

Tony cut off his rage, “I know. But it might not be so bad.” 

They both went quiet. Tony was looking at Loki but Loki was staring at the ground. His skin was already a pale white but it seemed to be getting worse every second. “Why,” Loki suddenly spoke. “Why were you out here? You said it may be similar.” 

Tony sighed, “I don’t-”

“Yet you want me to talk. You can’t even talk to me.”

“Okay, okay.” He fidgeted with his wrist absentmindedly as he spoke, “sometimes my nightmares are just too much. I get exhausted and… scared? It’s just so much easier to think about not having to deal with it anymore. I can’t just stop thinking about it when it’s in the back of my mind.” His voice trailed into a softer, more frightened tone. “I’m just not strong enough.”

“Of course you are, Anthony. You’ve had to deal with so much pain in your life. So much suffering. You’ve overcome it all.”

“All I’ve done is survive. I survived when I shouldn’t have.”

Loki’s body language started to shift as he pulled himself back from the edge, resting slightly on the edge of the rail. Not quite sitting but far from the dangerously precarious position he had been a moment ago. He whispered; barely audible to Tony’s ears, “you deserved to survive. What you didn’t deserve was being put in those positions.” Loki’s breathing hitched, becoming irregular. “How do you do it? How can you keep me here?”

“What do you mean?”

"I see your nightmares, Anthony. There's a lot I don't openly admit to and one being the extent of my abilities. It's not just illusions and endless knives. There are things no one knows about. One of those things just happen to be that I can see memories, nightmares, despair. I know I'm the reason for your sleepless nights. I know you relive the New York invasion. Yet you let me stay under your roof. You feed and care for me. You allow me to sleep in the same bed as you, at your most vulnerable. You call me a lover. How? How can you possibly allow that?"

Tony was caught off guard completely. “Mischief,” he swallowed roughly. “I don’t blame you for that. I don’t hate you either. But sometimes it comes back to me.”

“Why don’t you hate me? I hate me.” 

"Mischief," Tony whispered. "No, Loki. I don't hate you, and you shouldn't either. What happened that day was out of anyone's control except the one forcing you and Clints actions. You can't blame someone for things they did when they had no control."

Loki grew angry again; leaning forward and away from the railing again. “Is that so? Then what of that conflict between you and that sleeper soldier, Bucky? I know about the fight. You blamed him, why not me?”

His fidgeting got worse and worse as he listened to the Gods rage. "I didn't know you knew about that. Well," he whimpered. "I'm not proud of that, okay? I was blinded by anger. More than anger; more than rage at that actually. It was a shock to me, and I think what hurt more was not what he did but how Steve hid it. Sure we don't always get along but I'd rather have him sit me down and explain what happened instead of lying to me. Believe it or not, I am an adult and if he had treated me like one, I would have reacted like one. I guess what I'm saying is; I was wrong to treat Buck the way I did, but I was not of sound mind either. We've since made up. He lives here doesn't he?"

Loki’s posture softened again; terrifying Tony momentarily as it looked like he was letting go. He quickly had one hand over Loki’s while the other held him against the rail. “D-Don’t do that please,” he begged. 

“I’m sorry, Anthony.”

“I am too. I’m sorry you worry about me that much. You’ve got nothing to worry about. You have some healing to do; we both do. And you know what? We can help each other. So, can we hop over to the other side and start now?”

Loki nodded, finally swinging himself back over the metal onto the safe platform. It wasn’t until his feet were on flat ground did the tears start falling. He had been feeling them attempt to fall ever since he came up to the balcony, but they only began to flow now. It was unavoidable now as his legs gave out beneath him and his breathing grew erratic. He was in full, uncontrolled sobs before Tony was even over the bars himself.

“It’s alright, just breathe. I’m here. It’s alright,” he said, wrapping Loki in a tight embrace. “It’s okay, let it out.”

They sat there on the balcony ignoring the cold of the night, the stars shining above, and the people below. All that existed for the few hours of bitter darkness were them. At some point they lulled themselves to sleep in each other's arms; and for the first time in months, neither had nightmares.


End file.
